yeechien
18.
Frank, outspoken.
That's probably my traits.
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April 2009

Change.

Here's my essay.

What is change? When one changes, one literally becomes different. Change is inevitable, and we should learn to adapt to it.

Eternity doest not exist in reality, does it? As days pass, and then years, things will be different. The flowers that bloomed in its heyday will finally wilt. The people around you will leave you one day. What you see today may be gone tomorrow, which is rather the way of life. All these phenomenon can be attributed to change. I believe that change and time co-exists. Without time, I doubt there would be change.

Change is really subjective. I would say that change is either positive or negative in one way or another. As you read, changes are going on out there, everyday. Interestingly the human reaction to change never fails to amuse me. Influence by fellow humans may be a factor for change. Majority of the human race are easily influenced. Thus they change. It is either that they change, or they influence. Some may budge and remain ignorant to change, only to realise that they have been left behind in this changing reality.

Changes can make us happy or sad, but the bottom line is that we have to accept it and move on. If not, it will become a psychological barrier, and we would find ourselves trapped in the abyss of darkness in no time. Man is selfish and stubborn in nature. Sometimes they refuse to comply with the changes made.

Is change necessary? I feel that change, regardless of its necessity will always take place in any form at any point in time. Many changes are not within our control, and we should learn to adhere instead of complaining and whining the most of the time. Being subjected to change daily gives us exposure, making us stronger and geared for the next change and take it in stride. Then we would be immersed in this reality that change is always there, and will stay. Most of us would soon be quite ignorant to it. It is like the sun rising from the east to the west, and it has always been around since the beginning of time.

Ironically, change appears to be the only constant in our fast-paced, ever changing lives.


Yeechien

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The time has come.

Repent, for the time has come, yes the O levels, what were you thinking. See y'all around after I remove my face from the mountain of notes and notes and more notes.

ROAR

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The journey so far...

Vexed. One word to describe myself now. I dont know whatthefuck I am vexed about, just that I know I am vexed. Deadlines to meet or I'll be cooked. Yes, I am referring to the O levels. It's closing in. Gone are the days in which I thought I still had plenty of time. When reality sets in its kinda, ugh.

Seen and heard so many things I shouldn't have. Classroom politics escalating, situation gets tenser, conflicts arise. And more. The last lap of Secondary School Life couldn't be worse. Constant bitchings here and there, and here again. My blog is kinda oriented at these people now, can't help. Hopefully people will change, but that remains a hope. Maybe its just my wishful thinking... I despise people who mock at others but yet cannot accept humiliation. Plenty of such people around. Their constant ramblings and complains irritates the hell out of everyone. They're the loudest in the bunch, they always want to be heard.

Prominent groups of people who want the limelight by just making noise, and more dumb actions. As mentioned earlier, one thing I cannot put down is by the fact that, they can pick on any Tom, Dick, or Harry to bitch about. Its not just that, they have no limits and they want to dominate, but in the end they end up looking like fools and whine like a spoilt brat. Trying to brainwash the population into their dumb actions, and more. But fuck, where do they get, nowhere.

I have friends who are victims of this notorious lardasses and bigmouths. I've seen how they'd react to such comments. I really admire them for their paitence and ability to block out those noises. Note: Noise is unwanted sound. The rights these people fight for are kinda empty and redundant. Sometimes you do not know what to do when your friend falls deeper, and deeper. Until one day, he/she's gone. It's dumb to be able to term this kind of people and yet see people beside you fall into their plot. For god's sake please shutup and no one would say youre a mute. Please, be who you are, dont always go all out to impress. Most of the time you all fail and it makes you look like crap.

Ask why I'm blogging about these issues? They have been around since the beginning of time and creating trouble out of nothing, making big fusses out of a small particle of dirt. Somehow things affect us in one way or another. It has affected me, and make me want to wipe their asses off the surface of the Earth; but I know I will never succeed, more will sprout. This is life. Sorry hor, next time when people bitch about you, don't cry. Cause when you bitched about people they didn't. Fools.

If you're reading this and feeling like giving me a punch, we know what it means.

G'night Readers,

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What was said of me.

From Yuhan's Blog,

Yeechien-
1. Something random: helpful & caring
2. Try something new: VOLLEYBALL!
3. Colour: brown
4. Something I like about you: your concern
5. Clearest memory: basketballer #09!
6. Animal: OWL and you know why :D
7. Something I always wanted to ask: why are you so nice :/


Aww so sweet right.


Yuhan-
1. Something random: cute and hyper
2. Try something new: SOCCER
3. Colour: ORANGEE
4. Something I like about you: Your on-and-off maturity and kiddy-ness
5. Clearest memory: The girl who loved lollipops.
6. Animal: Bunny
7. Something I always wanted to ask: why are you so ncute [:

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3 More Weeks.

The heading speaks.

No time [:

All the best for y'all out there! [:

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Cliques and Loners.

As we grow older, we see things in a different light, not due to the gradual loss of vision, but the gradual increase in maturity as we pass through time. Or maybe not. We might relish in the childhood behavior but in a physically mature body, which doesn't make sense at all.

As of yet, I believe that nothing in this world is absolute. Everything is very subjective, thus arguments are made forth so as to feed our hungry, curious minds. Different personalites will naturally form a clique, individual idealists stand alone. Instigation can always be found within a clique. When one doesn't like another, one would advocate and stir untrue facts about another within ones clique. Some cliques are good, some are bad. Yet again good and bad is very much subjective, but this is my perspective so it is already defined.

Cliques give you some form of belonging. Yes, it may be fun, there is unity among you and your mates, but what some people fail to see is, are their clique 'activities' necessary and acceptable? Some cliques sit the whole day and study, others might play sports, some may even base their jokes on another's flaws without looking at their own. I am 100% sure that no one would wanna be in the center of jokes and bitching or anything else. For the ten thousandth time, if you dont like people to bitch about you, then dont do it to others. Here's where the saying, ' do unto others what you want them to do unto you.' Don't whine like a big baby when some bitch speaks ill of you, and laugh your asses off when you bitch about others. Here, ' the pot calls the kettle black.' One amazing fact, is that when you're in a clique, say 10 people, you might feel that you have the support of 10000 people. Usually it is really false. Most of the time it gives you the added confidence you need from others. Sometimes I feel abit helpless when I see a person getting bullied by a whole bunch of people, for not being able to stand in the way, or usually, I never get to witness these incidents.

This issue has made itself clear in my life. In my life I see plenty of cliques. Mainly 2 types, Work and Play Clique, and the other is the Bully and Bitch Clique. I have nothing much to say about the former, but the latter is really disappointing. The latter usually consists of people who are so darn full of themselves like they've got plenty of air in their heads and bodies. I should get an iron bar and make it into a needle so I can prick their heads and let the air out. Okay, as a result of airy heads and false perspectives about themselves and others, they will jump to conclusions before you can bat your eyelids. Dumbasses. They usually fire blanks, and more blanks. Read the previous entires for firing blanks [: They always comment and comment and comment and comment and yeah. And bully and bully and bully and bully, they seem to have verbal diarrhoea. Need to formulate a pill for them. Once they open they cant close and they will be at it for the whole day. I dont see whats so interesting about getting some value of entertainment out of someone else's flaws, at the same time hurting others. Hello out there, please define what hurts and what doesnt. People who are victims, stand strong, as if you succumb to their words you are weak. Stand strong; affected be not by their words, for what they say are false.

I have been a victim of this eternal ramblings and all. I still am. I admit in the past I used to care alot about what others say, but now I see things in different light and sadly to say, I don't really give a damn and I despise those who continue to practice basing their jokes on another's flaws. Now I just tell myself over and over, when someone says something untrue about me like 'flirt' or whatsoever, I say. 'Thank you for testing my paitence. You have just raised my paitence level and my conscience is as white as snow.' Okay la maybe something shorter but similar. Try this, it will help.

As I proceed I'm walking into a narrower and narrower road, until one day I get used to it and will redefine the epitome of narrow, and wide. I believe that loners, have very unique personalites and I will always ask for their perception on something. They are usually throw aside as their ideas differ from the crowd. Who knows? Their ideas are far greater than others from what I've been through all the time. It is usually these people who travel far, than those who speak too much.

I'm rather beat now, bye.

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Relationships - Commitment, or just plain fun?

Relationships. What are they? A mutual understanding, a special bond created between two indivduals, usually. The first misconception that people have is, relationships = boyfriend/girlfriend. In this society, many are narrow minded. Hardly people accept something new, and they'd have to grumble and complain, all day long. Our typical friends out there.

I have a few good friends, from both the same sex and the fairer sex. Since theres not much argument about friends of the same gender, I shall speak about my relationships with my female buddies. Often when others see a guy, and a girl, on close terms, they'll think, 'Oh this guy and girl arh, confirm like each other one.' Screw them and their assumptions. As quoted. Dont assume, it makes an ASS out of U and ME. Spell the capital letters. ASSUME. Okay I'm digressing.

Many view relationships as just another entertainment activity. When they get sick of it, they quit. Irresponsible beings. But when they see what they let go, is with something else, they want to regain their possession. Ignorant fools. Only when they lose, then they cherish. Why not do it the other way round, cherish, and not lose. I assure each and every one out there, if you really cherish every relationship out there, you will never lose them. When you cherish, you commit.

Commiting; rooting down the relationship. It makes the relationship stronger, never bound to break free from any weather, or anything else. True relationships stand strong in adversity, the false ones are gone with the wind. I make sure that I can commit myself always, so as to avoid major disappointments. I learnt many lessons along the way. Not just engaging in a relationship due to peer pressure, for the exposure and the attention you've always wanted. It's really foolish to do something like that.

In this age of technology. The mass media is advocating a false image of how relationships should be like to teenagers. I'm not blaming the mass media for doing all these, its their job, its just that teenagers are too easily influenced. Like lallang seeds, they sway with the wind and follow wherever it brings them.

With whatever external influence threatening our relationships, we should always stand strong and still, to our commitment and values. Any relationship is not by chance, it doesnt come by as and when it likes, its not like sushi on the conveyor belt. Once gone, it'll hardly turn around.

One thing, I thought people who bragged about relationships and other gossips were cool, but now they're rather passe,

Thats about all I wanted to speak about, I'll be back soon.

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As Requested.

Laura,
1. Big eyes?
2. Learn Ballet
3. Sky Blue
4. The way you do stuff?
5. The angmoh track girl.
6. Kitten
7. Why do you look like an angmoh?

Yup.

No time left.
Sigh.
Alright I feel like puking now so i'll come by later.

True relationships stand strong in adversity.

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1. i'll respond with smth random about you.
2. i'll challenge you to try smth new.
3. i'll pick a colour i associate with you.
4. i'll tell you smth i like about you.
5. i'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. i'll ask you smth i've always wanted to ask you.
8. you must post this on your blog

Okay Laura, I didn't know you asked me to do this till today. [:

my sister
1.Cute
2.Go and learn kickboxing
3.white
4.your chubby cheeks
5.you crying for nothing everyday when you were young
6.monkey
7.why are you so crazy

minru
1.Intellectual
2. Take up ballet
3. blue
4. your personality?
5. I dont remember
6. cobra? lol
7. why are you so darn smart?

cousin natalie
1.angmoh(she's angmoh)
2.go learn soccer
3.gold
4.your eyes
5.i dont know leh, always picking on me
6.PIG hahahaha.
7.why your eyes so got color one? lol.

Here's what was said of me by laura,

yc:
1. one thousand! (-.- Okay)
2. go learn sync swimming. hehe (lol no link okay, but i might try if you pay)
3. yellow. ( i know! the prom files are yellow)
4. responsible! (blushes, lol)
5. zsa cried, no, wept on the floor cos you broke up with her in sec1 or 2. i thought you were so mean! (i'm really sorry for that okay i was still young)
6. big grizzly bear.(bear. hmmm)
7. how many cups of water do you drink a day?(8, why?)

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The last drive.

With not much time left already. It was really, like yesterday when I stepped into this unfamiliar place, with strangers surrounding me. I came in lonely. In this 4 years, I made dozens of friends, but now I only have a few acquaintances that were always there the last 4 years. Mixed emotions on leaving this place. One more week, and bye. Happy, yet sad. Happy to enter a new threshold of life. Sad, or rather uncertain, if I'd see some people again.

Hopefully I'll be able to love the new environment and make it work for me. I realised for the past 4 years, people think they command the highest respect in school, but actually they don't. It's just a matter of 'showing face'. Those lardasses forever bitching and picking on someone else, and on, and on. Men have ego, women do too. Once you punch a line through them, it deflates their ego immediately and they go berserk. Dumb. Why are some people so full of themselves when they are empty. Really, 'act chio' is the term for it, or posing. For goodness sake, please shut up if you have nothing good to say, and talk like as if you're in the line. No one would say you're dumb if you'd shut your mouth for a moment. Really people could appreciate less noise being given out.

The prom project, the ignition that made me grow, and the catalyst to make me grow. Being mature and having a wider spectrum of thoughts doesn't make me superior to others, it's just that, maybe many times, people dont see things I do, or rather, we see things in different perspectives. Shockwaves pulsing through my brain right now, as I think of some stuff. It has been bothering me for quite awhile already. (Shuts mouth)

Every organisation has a group that is the black sheep and makes the most noises. They feel that they are superior above all, which is also their weakness, as others are superior. One thing about humans; sensitivity. One should learn to control his sensitivity. If one isn't guilty then why should one react.

Lets see what unfolds. Im so very interested in them.

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Haze.

For those who want the latest PSI readings, go to: http://app.nea.gov.sg/psi/

Damnit its so blur out there.

I'm trying to do my Addtional Mathematics here. But the thought of me not making it is repeatedly attacking me. Damn. Okay, I will try to steer clear of all obstacles, if not, I must overcome them. I can do it! Lol. I hope that helped.

So tired for the last few months.

Still tired.

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Please press this button.

Alright man. O levels are coming soon. Adrenaline rush, rush rush. After which is the Prom Night. The fruit of my labour. And others too.

I realised whenever there's such a big event, people start to gear up to it, they go shopping and all, and start to talk like the veterans. Okay I said ' start to talk like', not 'become like'. Self-proclaimed fashionistas sprouting out from nowhere, and maybe gigolos soon. Right here, don't blame me for being frank. Lets see at the prom night. [: It's a much anticipated event for me, it will be a stage to see my fellow friends flaunt what they have. And what they don't have. Try harder. And harder. A fellow Singaporean quotes, 'How can an apple turn into a durian?' Sorry my friend, no. Trying is worth it, but maybe it needs a long, long time.

Insolent: people w/o any respect.
Insolent fools: already not realising how dumb one looks, one is still disrespectful.

Many, many. And more.

Yup.
I got screwed yesterday. Okay end of story. I got screwed.


This path is kinda narrow at times so you'll have to travel alone with much determination and courage. Sometimes I'm really stumbled by the figures we have yet to collect, so please pay up. I have contacts for tailors and makeover studios, contact me.

All this haze dried up my ideas to write about. Oh darn, why am I whining. Okay. I'll be back when the haze is gone.

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My Feelings so far.

I don't really like squabbling with my parents and having to reassure them in and out on different days that I'm doing well. But for those who are going to prom, it is definetly on and it will be good. Of course not at the expense of me. Often doing jobs you get accused, and when you know the accusations have no foundations, just play along and tolerate. Paitence is one key I hold thus far, at least I know I only lost my head once. For so long things haven't been easy for me. One quote always drives me. 'Success seems largely a matter of holding on after others have let go.' Doing things alone can be downright boring at times, but is a job to do. Its not whether I like it or not, but in this case of course I like it, and it's my job. Effectively managing 5 people plus ensuring the welfare of another 230 isn't really easy as it seems. Rocky roads. Sometimes it gets too much out of me that I just recede to a corner, squat there and think for myself. This months I hardly have time for myself, not even others. But one thing, seeing my hard work pay off is a very big compliment for me, which holds a higher calling than having privileges and whatnot. Let me emphasise this again, I'm just another servant to the students, and I hold everyone, at least in the same regard. I'm not here to play, I'm not here to be famous, I'm here to work it out, and deliver. And I should be delivering soon. (I sound like a postman here, oh. Or rather a pregnant lady.) Please always remember, when you thought you have worked very hard, there is bound to have someone working twice as hard. Applies for everyone. Okay I shall try to catch a wink while I think about my lessons tomorrow, oh man.

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Hello World.

Okay.

I'm back feeling better. Everything is officially better for me. If it is in nature that a phenomenon occurs, just stop complaining and move on. Thank god that there are problems in life, it makes you see. As in really see 'see'.

Influence is a catalyst for change. Major changes in fact. So much to be seen in this life, everything's changing and myself too. Humans change, flowers wilt, the mountain you once scaled might never exist anymore. Gone are the things that existed. So much you long for it, but what you know is gone, will never return.

They hardly do. Disappointment sets in, and you get emotionally attached. You can't blame anyone. This is how life works, and it will work this way. Maybe, how life works is the only constant in everyday changes. Sad to see changes, but I'll always try to accept, try. Others might share the same viewpoint, and then at least you have a person to relate to. Call me interdependent, rather than independent. I'm not ready to let go, not yet, never. Something so hard to come by, will be always kept in my grasp. But when it tries to break free, it hurts. Call me whatever you please, but let me tell you one thing, guys are still human, and emotions really can hurt, esp when something is like so bloody close to your heart. It might not be a relationship, but something you hold really firm, and dear.

The sight of unsightly objects makes my bowels come out of my mouth rather than my anus. Okay la, not that bad yet. I feel so obliged to turn away when I encounter such unsightly objects, like just that day I noticed pile of sludge in my way. Call me a turtle that withdraws. At least I shield myself from what I do not wish to indulge in. Antics always fail to amuse me, there is always no originality. We could do with more dummy cannons firing blanks, our army forces really needs them. Especially those with a very wide diameter and gives a big boom like drums. Maybe let's take an order, say 100 of them?

In real life I may not be what I am here, but in real life I learn paitence and I don't really show much unless necessary. Call me a hypocrite, or whatever. As long as my conscience is clear I really have nothing much to afraid of. Give me names from A-Z and I'd gladly accept. The general public is always well aware of the happenings, and I believe they would matter largely on one's reputation. That's one thing I like about knowing the cohort, and being aware of what the public is doing, and making them aware of whats happening.

I'm just writing what I feel as and when along the way. I have't had my shot of caffeine today, feeling abit weary and exhausted mentally. I guess I'll stop here for now.

My quote for today: 'Never fire blanks. They always fail to make an impact.'

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Too Much Coke Light

Okay. Its like 2.44am and I can't catch a wink. It's not that I don't wanna, I can't. The caffeines prolly working its way through my CNS and warding of the drowsiness.

I'm trying to complete my Chinese homework here until I stumbled into a hole and saw some stuff that I shouldn't have really seen.

I just learnt this.

Don't complain if the fire burns, it's supposed to. So, I shouldn't really give a damn about what others say, they're supposed to. I should give a damn when they dont.

I'll just try my luck to go to sleep yet again.

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Unfolding Events in Life.

As events unfold in life we learn from them. Be it good or bad, we get something out of it. Bite this people. Whether you like it or not, yeah.

"The empty vessel makes the most noises." - a quotable quote. But right now it's kinda evolved into something new. The empty vessel breaks into delicate pieces when exposed to noise. I'm not trying to say that I'm well-versed in English, I'd just thought of it as it came to my mind, so I decided to put it in words. That's much of life.

People are welcoming me to my life, my teachers, my whoever. Telling me, "Yeechien, WELCOME to the REAL WORLD". A plethora of thoughts running through my mind like there's no tomorrow(a common 'metaphor' used my S'poreans). Which is kinda interesting as I get to explore answers in life. I should learn sometimes not to fall into the trap of paranoia and brace myself for any shit that comes in the way. As said in my earlier posts, life's like a long and winding road, sometimes you come to crossroads, and from there never look back. Sometimes you step on sludges, sometimes you walk into holes. I'm learning to climb up and carry on. You meet people along the way. I dare to say, I have people whom I believe will walk with me, till the end. [: It's the kind of assurance I get when I talk to them, or maybe, in their presence. Hopefully.

After 16 years of wandering around and doing nothing finally I learn some important lessons. Which is kinda pleasing. Sorry Liyana if it gives you a heart attack. I grew, I am still growing.

A wider perspective to issues in life, which hopefully will be wider. Essential for the daily approaches to problems. Okay at this hour I'm usually groggy but now I don't know why I can't even sleep. Must be the caffeine from COKE light.

BYE!

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Welcome! To the Black Parade

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"
He said
"Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non believers,
the plans that they have made?"
Because one day I leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade."

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go. Through it all,
the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know We'll Carry on,
We'll Carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
Carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I cant contain it
The anthem wont explain it.

And we will send you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Lets shout it loud and clear
Do you fight it to the end
We hear the call to
To carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated You're weary widow marches on

And on we carry through the fears
Ooh oh ohhhh
Disappointed faces of your peers Ooh oh ohhhh
Take a look at me cause
I could not care at all Do or die
You'll never make me
Cause the world, will never take my heart
You can try, you'll never break me
Want it all,
I'm gonna play this part
Wont explain or say i'm sorry
I'm not ashamed,
I'm gonna show my scar
You're the chair, for all the broken Listen here, because it's only..
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who's meant to sing this song
Just a man,
I'm not a hero
I -- don't -- care
Carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated You're weary widow marches on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry
We'll carry on

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