-Sunday, August 06, 2006
Trapped.
Seriously, I'm living in an environment that I hate to be in. I'm trapped in this web that I don't want to be in. Do I have a choice? No, not at the moment. Looks like all alone here...
Maybe I have outgrown what I used to fit in. Now I look back and think, why was I so childish then. Maybe I have grown up, and see things in different light. Sometimes, I feel that I'm not on the same wavelength as people. Faster, or even slower. I just feel so out of place myself. But somehow, its doing me good. My grades are improving, and my character, the values I yearned for... If I could filter things like you would filter a suspension of a liquid and soild. If I had that.
Very exhausted, living in an envrionment where one bitches about another unassumingly. You'd never know. Well, this might show that I'm not ready for society, or that, I'm only looking at the flaws of society. In life, do we have much choices? We do and we do not. Many things can be chosen, but at the same time, the kind of environment you are in, cannot be chosen. So, it is really up to you to change it, and make the world a better place for us to reside in. I feel sad when I hear someone bitching about someone else. I used to be like that, but I've changed. I want to change the environment, to be better. I found out, I couldn't, and I will never try again. I have tried, but to find myself to emotionally attached, and when its time to let go, I was and I am reluctant, till this day.
I learnt, 100% control over emotions, and confidence in myself.
I've sort of found the direction in life. I know what I want. And I'm working hard towards it. Earthly temptations and stuff, are bothering me, but, I'm trying hard to close an eye. I promise, I'll try.
Yeechien Wrote;
10:56 PM
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